Wednesday, March 14, 2012

When There's Nothing Left to Give


When words elude and courage fails and strength drains clean away--when I've nothing left to give, nothing left all, I give thanks and find that He's enough.

For the frost glazing the rooftop shingles on a morning in March
and the seagulls circling, soaring as the day's breaking open

For the tinge of pink spreading across the Eastern sky
and those snow-covered peaks all aglow, pointing straight to Him

For late-night readings of a hobbit's tale
and a morning full of baking, baking, baking

For all the dirty dishes lining counters, filling sinks
and that moment when the kitchen's finally clean again

For those rows and rows of scones and muffins
and how the hard labor really seems worth it somehow

For the snow falling in huge flakes while we're warm inside
and the friend who lends hands, heart for a task that needs doing

For someone I've never met, offering to share burdens, carry me to the Throne
and those words she writes, the ones I need to hear:  You are not too much.  

For her sharing the pieces of her story, trusting me to pray
and the God Who orchestrates this whole dance of love and relationship

For the counting down of days until news from the doctor
and the breathing in and out through all the days of exhaustion

For a Smart Phone that's actually smart, gets me safely to unfamiliar places
and a trip to the tea cafe on a rainy, rainy day

For that one house painted blue amidst all the browns and greys
and those daffodils beside the road, still dancing in the rain

For making it to the bottom of the mending pile
and wearing a favorite sweater that's been out of commission for weeks

For staying up late when the story's too good to put down
and whispering late-night prayers to the God Who knows what I can't say

For knitting round and round on the waiting room couch
and the way busy hands keep the heart from running away

For hearing the hoped-for news straight from the doctor's mouth
and one more piece of the long mystery finding it's place

For the walk to the car in a downpour of snow
and me laughing giddy over the unexpected white

For driving straight to the pharmacy to pick up a bottle full of hope
and all those tears stinging the back of my eyes because--


God's always faithful on the long, long road


#1306 - #1339 of the endless grace.

10 comments:

  1. Okay...I'm officially "unplugged," but it turns out that we had to bring my laptop after all so that my son could take his online class. :) Just love this post. (You honor me, girl.) But especially, I love that your words shoot arrows to my heart carrying all this love and understanding. I can hardly believe it...but there you are, and I'm just so very glad that the Lord has done this amazing thing for us. So wonderful to read your words and think.."Huh. I'm not so crazy after all." Because your words are beautiful. Because your heart is beautiful. Because you are not...too much. Sending love from Denver tonight, friend.

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    1. @Bernadette: Well, I'm selfishly glad you plugged back in for a few moments to stop in and say hello here :o). I hope your week off has been refreshing so far! You are most definitely not crazy. Unless you mean crazy beautiful, crazy talented, crazy in love with God. I, too, am so grateful and amazed at the gift of companionship God has given us--and humbled by the way He is encouraging your heart with my little words from this corner of the world. God is good, and you are pure gift to me. Sending love right back to you!

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  2. Beautiful blog makeover for spring, lovey. Your snow and rain make me envious. In Dallas we usually have one good ice storm with a little snow each winter, but this season has been far too mild.

    It gives me great joy to hear of some positive health news and a puzzle piece coming together for you! This morning I was praying for your relationship with the new doctor, that it would prove fruitful. As it happens, your post was here already waiting for me.

    May God grant strength and joy for your tea and remaining preparations. Happy wandering "there and back again," too, with Bilbo. You are a blessing, dear Courtney. God knit so much beauty into you; may He make that real to you this evening.

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    1. @tinuviel: I *love* that we were reading each others' blogs and commenting at the same time. Not as nice as sitting down for tea together but about as close as it gets in the blogging world!

      More snowflakes today--in time for my Spring Tea! Ah well. I'm *sure* the weather will turn soon. I love the snow but I think I'm just about ready for warmer, drier days. And flowers! Yes. I'm ready for flowers.

      Thank you, Dear One, for prayers. I know you know the significance of news from the doctor and I, too, am rejoicing in the unexpected answers. Only time will tell where this next step will lead in the end, but it's taking me closer to healing and that's no small miracle.

      And your words here ("God knit so much beauty into you") bring tears to my eyes. Thank you. Just, thank you. Wish you could share tea with us this afternoon--you'll be in my thoughts! And someday we *must* have a blogger tea :o).

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  3. love this post, it is so beautiful, you should get published!! love it!!!

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    1. @Anonymous: Thank you for sweet words, Friend! You are too kind. Grace to you on whatever road you're walking today!

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  4. Hallelujah! Our God is *Amazing*!
    Hug for today and another one waiting for tomorrow...

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    1. @Rachel: Thank you for sending praise up to the One who has done great things! You have walked the hard, hard roads with me all these years--and all my victories are as much yours as mine. Couldn't have stayed the course without your love, Dearest Friend. Looking forward to the hugs!

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  5. hi Courtney,

    somehow didn't get notification in my e-mail acc't when this post came out (tho' i usually do) and so missed it. oddly enough, though, i was just
    thinking about you, and about hope when things are hard, and went to your site on impulse. there i found your latest post, and your gratitude list, and the hoped for news, and the bottle full of hope. answered prayer is wonderful!!

    a virtual hug,

    chris

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    1. @chris: Silly email glitches! (Who can explain the wayward ways of the internet, right?) And can I just say how beautifully humbling and encouraging that you think of me and "hope when things are hard" at the same time? If that's the one thing I can leave behind in this world, the truth that there's hope when things are hard--oh, what Grace! Thank you for prayers and virtual hugs, for thinking of me and seeking out my words here in this small corner of a very big world. Much grace to you, Friend, tonight and always.

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