Anatomy of Betrayal

You've been with me
Since the tiny strands
Of my beginning—
Surrounding, sheltering
Giving me breath and life

But somewhere along the way,
Well before I came of age,
You were transformed
Into an enemy I could not escape

I am you and you are me
But we are not one—
We are two, at war,
And you are most decidedly


The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:12 that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

After a lengthy and emotionally charged visit with my doctor earlier this week, I am beginning to think this war is against both—the physical and the spiritual.

Am I discouraged? Yes. Most definitely yes.

Am I defeated? Not entirely. At least not yet.

Am I still hoping, praying, begging for a miracle? Absolutely.


  1. oh courtney, your poem spoke volumes to my heart - words that i *needed* to read today.

    i'm praying for you, asking for peace that passes all understanding to surround you.

    hoping along side you.


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